Dealing with Rejection

Dealing with Rejection

 
Dealing with rejection can be painful, whether it happens at work, at home, at school or in relationships.


Never allow others negative behaviours to put you off, your goals and dreams, just send them healing in the future as you will achieve great deeds by being positive, determined and loving person you are.


Rejection comes in many forms and it can be tempting to wallow in self-pity and despair when we have been rejected. Fortunately, there are things we can do that can help us handle rejection with dignity and purpose. Everyone experiences rejection – it is what we do in response that determines how we feel about ourselves. Rejection is scary, because it reminds us that we cannot control people and circumstances. Here are a few ideas of things we can do to overcome the rejection blues.

Be Aware of Your Emotions
Rejection is a form of loss, creating the sense of losing something we thought we had. Being rejected can feel like an outright violation of our expectations, which is why many of us feel offended when we are rejected. When the rejection is very painful or unexpected, it can be scary, making us feel as though the world we live in is unsafe and malevolent. When things do not go the way we expect, we often feel devastated and powerless, especially if we are very attached to a particular outcome.
We can acknowledge our loss, reminding ourselves that our feelings are never unacceptable or wrong, but they are also not entirely true. No matter how extreme or violent our feelings might seem, though, it is important to give ourselves the opportunity to experience them. Anger, sadness and disappointment are all natural responses when dealing with rejection. We can allow for our feelings, whatever they are, without holding onto them. We can let them come, and let them go.

Practice Acceptance
When rejection occurs, one of the ways many of us automatically respond is with denial. We may tell ourselves that this is not happening or that this is all a mistake that will soon be corrected. Denial is a mechanism of self-defence. We deny that something unpleasant is happening because the reality is too painful. We can gently correct ourselves by saying, “This is happening, and it will be okay. This does not mean that I am a bad person or that I have done something wrong.”

Talk to Someone You Trust
Another common impulse when dealing with rejection is to isolate and to cut ourselves off from support. This is another way that we unconsciously try to protect ourselves from more pain. Many of us equate relationships (revealing ourselves to others in work, love, family and friendships) with the disappointment that sometimes occurs in those relationships.

Take Action and Get Moving
It does not matter what we do, only that we take action and get moving. We can do dishes, pay bills, organise or finish up that work report we have been neglecting. Purposeful movement clears the mind of the stagnant energy and negative emotions that hang around when we are dealing with rejection. This is a perfect time to do something we have been putting off.

We are probably thinking, “What’s the use? I will still be miserable, and it will not change the fact that I have been dumped/passed over for that promotion/turned down by my number-one choice for college or school.” We can choose to think about it differently. We can be heartbroken in a messy living room that makes us feel even more miserable, or we can take constructive action that will likely lift our spirits and self-esteem.

Action has a wonderful way of breeding self-confidence and feelings of empowerment. You will feel less like a victim of your circumstances when you take action in an area you can actually control. Though it may sound like torture to suggest cleaning a closet after what feels like the most painful breakup in history the sooner we get moving, the better we will feel.

It is okay to resist for a while. As soon as we are ready, we can give it a try. If it still seems like an insurmountable, useless task, we can make a deal with ourselves to try it out for fifteen minutes. If we want to stop after 15 minutes, we can stop. But we usually find that the momentum of positive, productive energy created in just those 15 minutes is sufficient to make us want to keep going.

Be Kind to Yourself
One of the best times to do something nice for ourselves is when we are dealing with rejection. This serves a dual purpose: we get to do something enjoyable, and in so doing, we also prove to ourselves that we are worth the effort and attention. We can buy ourselves a special gift or get a massage, manicure and pedicure. We can set aside a day in the coming week to do whatever we want to do, whether that means browsing in a bookstore all afternoon sipping coffee, or losing ourselves in an art project. Planning ahead for “me” time brings with it the gift of something to look forward to, which makes difficult situations infinitely more bearable.

Be Kind to Someone Else
What it does mean, however, is that our thoughts colour our experiences. We have the power to use past success as evidence that future success is possible and, indeed, probable.

Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow. But its purpose is not gratuitous pain. If we have relationships with other people and if we regularly take risks, rejection is inevitable. Like any experience, rejection teaches a valuable lesson that we simply cannot learn any other way. We can always choose to see that value, although it may be difficult at first. Dealing with rejection in one area of life can teach us to deal more gracefully with our next experience of rejection in a completely different area. Lessons like these build on themselves. We can use our past experiences of rejection to make our future experiences less painful.



Whether it is a pet, a relative or a stranger, this strategy is particularly effective for coping with rejection. Focusing on someone else’s needs for a time reminds us that we are not the centre of the universe, and that our disappointments are not as devastating and all-encompassing as we make them out to be. Perhaps someone we love is ill, confined to home or hospital bed. We can ask if there is anything we might help that person with, being grateful for our health and our ability to offer help.

Feeling useful is a fail safe cure for self-pity. We can call a friend and ask how she is, without mentioning or complaining about our circumstances. Take the dog for an extra-long walk, or spend time snuggling with the cat – such small, loving actions centre us, bring us great comfort and remind us that we matter to other beings.

Reaffirm Your Successes
Rejection can make us feel as though we are failing, and can even lead us to falsely assume that not only have we failed, we are complete failures. Reminding ourselves of specific successes is a great way to remember our assets and accomplishments during a time when we are tempted to focus only on the negative. By focusing on the positive, we give it power in our minds, in our actions and ultimately in our circumstances. This does not mean that thinking positively will ensure that we never experience disappointment.

If you need help to get back on track book a private session with Derek Book Now! or Email

 
 

Why I became a Celebrant

Why I became a Celebrant

Why I became a Celebrant.

 


Hi, I am Derek McGillivray.

Why did I choose to be a celebrant?

In my capacity as A Happy Medium, where I am an intuitive life coach and complementary therapist, I discovered I had this amazing ability to foresee weddings, births and so on.

As a result, I was often asked to do wedding ceremonies, or invited to christening of new-born babies.

When at some of these events I often thought that the events did not do justice to the couple as often they didn’t get what they wanted and had to follow set protocols and please Family, church, or others  etc.

So I decided to train as a Civil Celebrant. And offer the couple more options so they could be In Control off THEIR special day.

In June 2019, I completed and passed NOCN Level 3 Diploma in Celebrancy – Baby Naming and Couples.

I was trained in by Civil Ceremonies Ltd. Who are one of the top rated trainers and regulated by the government body OFQUAL.

I am a deeply spiritual person and believe in the concept of unconditional love. Love should be celebrated, and a ceremony is a great way to show that love. I created A Happy Ceremony for that reason to offer personalised ceremonies for my clients,

My motto is “Seal your love with a ceremony and a smile”

Some of the ceremonies I offer are

  • Wedding ceremony
  • Baby Naming
  • Scottish Hand fasting
  • Renewal of Civil partnership or wedding vows
  • Commitment ceremonies
  • Divorce ceremonies

I operate from Elgin in Moray, Scotland but prepared to travel anywhere in UK.

I was already travelling throughout the Uk and the Islands putting on shows for my work as A Happy Medium I had a lot of ceremonies booked but dew to the Covid 19 restrictions they have been rescheduled to next year.

Having been a public speaker for over 25 years I am a very confident speaker and I am often the one who you calms others down,  who are involved in the events I attend, also take charge when things don’t go to plan, I use hummer, kindness and compassion, plus I use my empathy skills to assist you and your family.

I like to get to know a little about you so that I can make sure that your ceremony is personalised to make it unique to you both. You can have as much of your own input as you wish, on your Happy Celebration day. I love to connect with you and your guests so that everyone feels a part of the day and not just a spectator to it. We work together we make it unforgettable.

Here is some of what happens:

  • You find your dream venue or ask us for a recommendation
  • Contact us to hold your preferred date
  • Contact Registration office – Intent to marry
  • Book your signing day
  • Begin creating your unique and personal ceremony!

Whatever the occasion, I look forward to working with you to create a unique and personal ceremony, reflective of who you are and without any restrictions on location, content, format, or style.

My ceremonies are warm, personal, and relaxed, and can be as romantic and sentimental or as upbeat and quirky as you wish.

It’s your day so let’s make it really special and unforgettable for you.

Your Wedding Ceremony

I can officiate at a ceremony for couples of any gender that follows your legal marriage or partnership formalities, either the same day or some time afterwards.

You can share your love for each other with your family and friends, in the ceremony that you really want.

In Scotland just now only a Humanist Celebrant can legally marry you and you have to follow the Humanist format. You don’t have to follow any format with myself as I am not tied to any Religion, but I am fully insured.

The law is hopefully changing soon where all trained celebrants will be able to legally marry, you can have the church minister, priest marry you or a register at or before your ceremony it’s up to you.

Most of my clients just need to say to the register they want to get married but do not want the ceremony with the register, they then get a form to sign and the costs are low.

My ceremonies do not replace your legal formalities but are designed to be a perfect solution to many dilemmas.

If you can say “Yes” to any of the following situations,

the Wedding Celebration Ceremony is for you!

You want your ceremony in a private house or garden.

You want the ceremony outside, maybe in a marquee.

You want to get married abroad but also want to share your wedding celebration with friends and family when you return.

You want your ceremony in a particular venue that is not licensed for marriages or civil partnership.

You want religious or cultural traditions, which are not allowed at a Register Office or in a religious ceremony.

You want to include spiritual, religious, or symbolic elements with special meaning to you.

It is a Personalised ceremony that you design with My help, conducted in front of all your family and friends, in any location that you choose.

These ceremonies are for couples of any gender.

I also can provide PA systems etc as I use them for my other events.

Why Use us, For Your Happy Ceremony?

“Personalise the start of your wedding with a happy ceremony with words that are all about you.”

With a ceremony led by Wedding Celebrant Derek McGillivray you can:

Choose Your Own Location

Your ceremony can be held anywhere!

It does not need to be licensed as the ceremony can be separate from your legal signing.

Choose Your Own Time

Celebrate at a time that suits you. Because normally only one ceremony a day is conducted, you can pick the time you REALLY want!

A Ceremony personalised to suit you

I get to know you so that he can convey your personal story to the guests to make this an unforgettable experience.

I am Fully Qualified and insured I also trained to offer A Naming Ceremony.

What is a Naming ceremony?

A Naming ceremony is an event at which a person or persons is officially assigned a name. Various countries participate in this practice, with methods differing over cultures and religions.

The timing at which a name is assigned can vary from some days after birth to several months or many years.

Your Naming Ceremony can be specially created using your own selection of words, poems and readings, either from the wide selection Derek can provide, or from other sources.

During the ceremony, a special commemorative certificate is signed and presented. There are many ways to make your child’s ceremony a very personal, meaningful, and unique event for all those involved.

Derek can work with you if you still want your child to be baptised in a church etc and want a more personal naming ceremony afterwards. Very often a Baby naming Ceremony is asked for at the same time or before a wedding, especially if couples have children who are being adopted or changing names, it helps make the joining of families more memorable.

Apart from the normal Ring blessing, giving and ring ceremony you can also have lots of other symbolic acts within ceremonies.

The Handfasting Ceremony is probably requested most by the couples in Scotland,

You may have wondered where the expression to tie the knot comes from. It refers to the traditional Celtic ritual of Handfasting, which was recognised as the contract of marriage.

Handfasting may be unfamiliar to many of you so I will explain a little about it.

A hand fasting was originally more like an engagement or trial marriage, where two people would declare a binding union between themselves for a year and a day.

After a year went by they could separate or decide to permanently enter a full marriage, very often if there were no child or pregnancy this is what happened, Hand fasting was suppress in 664 but was still considered amongst many as a legal form of marriage in England until 1753 when it was outlawed.

In Scotland it continued until 1939, hence the stories of elopement to Gretna Green to be married over the anvil.

Candle Lighting

The Bride and Groom each light a candle each, to symbolise their separate lives before their formal union as a married couple. In a partnership of equals, such as the one which they have, each partner cares for the other through both the difficult times and the good times.

They will share the laughter and the tears, the joy, and the sadness, as well as the companionship and tranquillity of simply being together. But at the same time, they will continue to respect each other’s individuality and uniqueness, and this is symbolised by the two candles.

The Bride and Groom then light a third candle symbolising the joining together of their lives in marriage.

The three candles will shine forth as symbols of both their togetherness and of their continuing individuality.

Elements Well Wishing

As a unique way to symbolise a union is to celebrate life’s essential elements. A well-wishing is said to all the elements. Earth, Air, Water and Fire.

There are many ways of doing this, depending on where the ceremony is taking place.

Sand Ceremony

A marriage is symbolised by the pouring together of two individual containers of sand, representing the Bride and the Groom and all that they were, all that they are, and all that they will ever be. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the grains of sand can never again be separated, as you will now be in their marriage.

Planting a Tree

The tree symbolises a Bride and Groom’s hopes for the future as well as the beauty and wonder of life. Whether a tree grows to be tall and strong depends on the nurture it receives. No tree grows alone – they all need the soil, the sunshine and the rain. So too, a marriage needs to be nourished and a Bride and Groom will be there for each other through all the seasons of their life together – to support, love and nurture each other.

Exchange of Flowers

The language of flowers, has its roots throughout history. Using flowers to send a message probably dates to prehistoric times as symbolic use of flowers is mentioned in Egyptian inscriptions, in Chinese writings and in both Greek and Roman mythology.

And so, the bride and groom exchange white roses, which symbolize purity, charm and innocence.

Gathering of Flowers

As your guests arrive, present them with a flower. Each one of these flowers is different, each one is beautiful, and each one will add its own unique qualities to the bouquet that will made when they are gathered together.

All of your guests have each brought their own qualities to their relationships with you, their own beauty, their own colour and their own influence…

And now as they gather together for this most special of occasions, a nominated person will gather these flowers together, each flower representing their place in the bride and Groom’s lives.

The beautiful bundle of flowers represents the colour and the beauty that each and every person brings into your lives, and with the placing of each flower, the bouquet changes, each flower playing its own part in influencing how the final bouquet will look and feel. This bouquet will now be the centrepiece of this ceremony, and the dinner and party to follow.

Gifts for Mothers

This wedding is also a celebration of family. It is the blending of families, separate up to this moment, but united from this day forward – blending their different traditions, strengthening the family tree. Mothers cry when their children hurt and welcome pain and burden to give their sons and daughters the gift of life.

The Bride and Groom, to honour this blending of families, present a rose to their mothers – to thank their parents for the many sacrifices they have made and for their unconditional love so freely given to their children.

There is so much more

Here is a list of symbolic gestures you may wish to consider for your marriage ceremony.

Candle Lighting

Elements Well Wishing

Sand Ceremony

Planting a Tree

Exchange of Flowers

Gathering of Flowers

Gifts for Mothers

The Mexican Hug

Release of Doves

Release of Butterflies

Release of Balloons

Wedding Band Warming

Heart Entwining

Do not forget some of these gestures can be used for the Baby naming ceremonies too.

Thank you for taking the time to watch this video and we also offer services to support you leading up to your big day, and even help you save money on your house hold bills from now, so, you can put that money towards your future instead.

Feel free to come in or have a chat on zoom, we could even do a ceremony over zoom until you can have that real special day, ironically, I have been asked lately for this already.

 

Check my website for more information

www.ahappyceremony.co.uk

Contact Derek McGillivray

Tel 07468119635

Email derek@ahappyceremony.co.uk

 

7 Mayne Road, Elgin IV30 1NY

 

Dealing with Concerns and using your circle of influence.

Dealing with Concerns and using your circle of influence.

The Circle of Influence and the Circle of concern

This is a great process to go though when you have had enough and need to sort out stuff in your head, The idea or model is taken from Stephen Conveys The 7 habits of highly effective people 1989.
We all have concerns in life some we can influence and some we cant in the present, that can change in time. I have learnt though my own life lessons that we cant always change our concerns, especially in politics or the past, people dying, the meaning of Life and so on …but when we Rewind and slow down, then Review this is a great process to look at when we review what we can influence, before we Re engage in life.

All of us have a wide range of concerns in our lives – our housing, our health, our friends and family, the environment, weight issues, animal rights, sex and drugs and rock and roll, the universe of our concerns can go on and on, there are some things we can influence and some things we can only stay concerned about. we do have a choice.

Now we have a choice about where we focus our attention and energy. Not that I am saying to eat wild mushrooms by the way, as you will go mad and that wont help you, but when we take control and focus on your circles of influence and look at what you can influence, we are then ready to Re engage.

Worry Only About the Problems in Your Circle of Influence.

Once you have had a look and sorted out in your head and divided all the concerns in to circles of concern and circles of influence.
Take a break, go for a walk, chill out. and ask
What really is worth my energy?
Who can I influence?
When can I see them?
How will I approach them?
Let the questions and answers, solutions come into your head. Be relaxed and feel good about the fact your moving forward now.

The author and leadership guru Stephen Covey encourages us to only focus on concerns that we have control over. He outlines the “circle of concerns” as all of the stuff that worries us – and then a smaller “circle of influence” (within the larger “circle of concerns”) that only contains stuff that we can actually control.

His point, of course, is that we should only spend our energy on stuff that we can do something about. Focus only on problems that lie within your “circle of influence.”

That is not an easy thing to do at times, but better that, than giving in to negativity.
We are creative and we all have passions, core values that drive us forward look at the other blogs and use all the tools, tips advice, learn and take action.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Your energy becomes fractured and depleted as you start to obsess over details and situations that are beyond your control. Ultimately  your ideas and projects will suffer. So don’t waste time on things and situations you cant change in the present moment, focus on what you can change, Your attitude first to a positive one!

Use only positives in your circle of influence, set some goals to influence what you NEED not just what you WANT and remember enthusiasm attracts, enthusiasm back to you.
Let stop the moaning and be happy today, lets start a happy virus one that is a total pain in the tummy, where we can’t stop laughing. There nothing more infectious than the sound of laughter. Make others smile today!

Positive self talk for the festive season

Positive self talk for the festive season

Positive self talk for the festive season


It gets everywhere! On television and radio, in shops, newspapers and magazines, on
the internet and even all the outdoor decorations. We can’t escape it. The holidays are
coming!

It seems that everyone else has a wonderful family time…..except me? This a common statement from my clients at this time of year.
Is this a fact or opinion?

Perhaps a minority of people are fortunate enough to have a lovely family time. The majority have some good family times mixed
with quite a lot of work, stress and financial burden. Family stresses can be greatly exaggerated and become intolerable over the holiday period when everyone is forced to spend time together, trying to keep things cheerful.

For others, it is a very lonely time. A reminder that we are alone, out of contact with, or without family. If we have friends, then they will probably be spending time with their families and have little spare time for us. Everything seems to be closed on the day itself: shops, libraries, cafes and all other meeting points or places where we might be in contact with others.

So what can we do? How can we get through this time?

Maybe even change things so that we can feel better about it.
If we change the way we think about it, or change what we do – then we will change the way we feel. If we carry on thinking and doing what we’ve always done, then nothing will change and we will have a miserable holiday time.

Use the an alternative cycle to decide how you can make things better.

My alternative cycle:

  • How can I think differently?
  • What can I do differently?
  • How will I feel if I think/act differently?

Get help speak to others, write down lists of what you could do, even volunteer for a charity and spend time helping others.

Here is a good link to down load some information to help click here or go to https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Holidays.pdf

Use positive self talk I encourage my clients to use Positive statements.

Positive statements encourage us and help us cope through distressing times. We can say these encouraging words to ourselves and be our own personal coach.  We have all survived some very distressing times, and we can use those experiences to encourage us through current difficulties.  Examples of coping thoughts might be:

  • Stop, and breathe.
  • I can do this.
  • This will pass.
  • I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this.
  • I have done this before, and I can do it again.
  • This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass.
  • This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong.
  • These are just feelings; they will go away.
  • This won’t last forever.
  • Short term pain for long term gain.
  • I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.
  • I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly.
  • I have survived before, I will survive now.
  • I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.
  • It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction.
  • Right now, I am not in danger.  Right now, I’m safe.
  • My mind is not always my friend.
  • Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual.
  • This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.
  • I can use my coping skills and get through this.
  • I can learn from this and it will be easier next time.
  • Keep calm and carry on.

Don’t let the Festive season get you down, be proactive if you need help book a session and I will help you plan and set some new goals to achieve a wonderful Christmas.

Derek McGillivray

www.ahappymedium.co.uk

Finding Meaning & Purpose in life.

Finding Meaning & Purpose in life.

Finding Meaning & Purpose

 

Finding Meaning & Purpose

Many of us spend a lot of time in the pursuit of happiness, striving towards a goal of a better paid job, greater status, or obtaining the latest possession. An unfulfilled life might mean an unhealthy and unhappy life, but that’s not necessarily the case.

However, lack of meaning and purpose can result in anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

Lack of Purpose.

There have been, and still are, times when terrible events happen to a community or a country, and our lives are shaken to the core.

What really matters at those times?

We hear about the community spirit of the London Blitz, of that shared purpose of coming together and working towards a common goal, helping others and contributing to the “war effort”.

Modern life can lack that community spirit and togetherness, and we can wander aimlessly through the routine of daily life, looking for something we don’t even know we’re missing.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness can lead us to feel stressed, frustrated, depressed, anxious.

Happiness is usually about trying to satisfy our wants and needs – looking towards ourselves, an inward-looking focus.

We can learn from the rich and famous that money, fame and possessions often don’t go hand in hand with happiness.

Search for Meaning

Where are you heading?

 

Would you start out on a year-long journey to an unknown destination?

Or would you ask questions about the journey, and about the destination?

Finding purpose and fulfilment is more about giving, to others, to the community, to the environment, to the world. We often become more outward focused to find meaning and purpose. In giving, in finding purpose, we find fulfilment and satisfaction, but not necessarily happiness…. although it can be a by-product.

Finding purpose gives us exactly that – a purpose to go on in spite of life circumstances.

Viktor Frankl found meaning and purpose even as a Nazi concentration camp prisoner. He noticed that those fellow prisoners lacking a sense of purpose gave up and died more quickly than those with purpose.

Those with purpose were the people more likely to survive – they looked back on their lives with a sense of satisfaction and looked forward to future achievements. Frankl found his purpose in helping his fellow prisoners to find meaning and purpose, even in those extreme conditions of suffering.

For example, the scientist who decided he wanted to finish his book, and the father who desperately wanted to be reunited with his child (safely) overseas.

Frankl found that even in extreme suffering, we can change the way we think about that situation, to give us a sense of purpose.

Find YOUR purpose

In order to find your purpose, try doing and experiencing different things. Find your passion! You will know when you find it, from how you feel, and that sense of fulfilment and deep satisfaction.

Ask yourself what do you really enjoy doing?

What is your passion? What really inspires you? What are you really skilled at?

What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to be your legacy?

Be open minded and flexible in how you think about things.

Don’t discount anything! We often have several different purposes, or life values.

For example: Being a good wife and mother, being a writer, being a teacher.

Each one can give you that sense of fulfilment.

Meaning and purpose can change over time.

Ask yourself how important certain aspects of your life are. Which of these (or others) are MOST important to you? Score them on a scale of 0 – 5 with 0 being not at all important, and 5 being most important.

  • Relationships: partner, children, parents, siblings, friends etc
  • Work and career
  • Education and achievement
  • Spirituality
  • Connecting with nature
  • Helping others
  • Caring for the environment
  • Health living / lifestyle choice
  • Caring for animals

You may find that you have several life values or purposes.

You might find it useful to identify the 1 or 2 that are MOST important to you. Those you feel most passionate about. You have found your life’s purpose!

One of the sites I use to help with my Life coaching clients is

www.getselfhelp.co.uk

When I do a life coaching session, I ask you what your life purpose is, goals etc and very often my clients get confused and lose their way in life and this is useful to help you find that purpose or goal.

If you need help, book a life coaching session and let me help you find that happy medium in life.

Derek holds Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced & Basic counselling. Is fully insured and follows national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.

Derek is often asked to do Motivational & Spiritual Workshops, Psychic shows and events with music from the past present & future.

His motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “

Derek talking about Halloween and his own view on spiritual development

Derek talking about Halloween and his own view on spiritual development

This is a post i did two years ago, though it would be worth sharing again.

Halloween is here again and I wonder if some of you have forgotten where it came from, it is a time I remember my own family culture and I celebrate the fact that we live on, and our love ones sometimes choose this time to come back and see us, that is why according to some we dress up as to scare away the bad spirits.

I have some wonderful memories of Halloween of going out and telling stories or having to sing for treats, the warm fire places and much more and with all this stuff going on with the mad clowns on TV news. I though it be good to remind everyone about the true meaning of Halloween and what its meant to myself, as is its a time I celebrate this wonderful gift I have to help others with a message from loved ones in a healing sense, where I am  privileged to act as the medium or the go between, I strongly believe we all can connect and I have some amazing examples and experiences some of which are in this blog. I love doing and going to events at this time, and it should be about fun and celebration that we are always loved and never alone.

What is Halloween all about?

Info from History Chanel

Straddling the line between fall and winter, plenty and paucity, life and death, Halloween is a time of celebration and superstition. It is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints and martyrs; the holiday, All Saints’ Day, incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows’ Eve and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a secular, community-based event characterized by child-friendly activities such as trick-or-treating. In a number of countries around the world, as the days grow shorter and the nights get colder, people continue to usher in the winter season with gatherings, costumes and sweet treats.
Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

Derek after a show in Slains Castle theme bar in Aberdeen

On May 13, 609 A.D., Pope Boniface IV dedicated the Pantheon in Rome in honor of all Christian martyrs, and the Catholic feast of All Martyrs Day was established in the Western church. Pope Gregory III (731–741) later expanded the festival to include all saints as well as all martyrs, and moved the observance from May 13 to November 1. By the 9th century the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands, where it gradually blended with and supplanted the older Celtic rites. In 1000 A.D., the church would make November 2 All Souls’ Day, a day to honor the dead. It is widely believed today that the church was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. All Souls Day was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels and devils. The All Saints Day celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the traditional night of Samhain in the Celtic religion, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.

One of my first strong Mediumship phone reading.

I have had so many wonderful experiences both giving and
receiving readings and it always take you by surprise.
The first really moving one I gave was when doing the
psychic phone lines when unemployed in 2007 for a short period, I had a call from a woman who
was 49 in love with a younger man etc you know the sort of call I was having
mostly based on what she would love to do to that young man not the sort of
thing I really wanted to hear, but during that call I heard a big bang in my
kitchen sink, went thought to see what happen and there was nothing out of
place, strange I thought.
I finished of that call and had a think to myself do I want
to do this sort of stuff listening to older women’s sexual issues etc you can
imagine what was on my mind, but I was unemployed and needed the money, but
just as I was going to sign off, the phone went I took the call hoping it was
not another Horney women again.
This time the voice was female but sounded sad, I picked up
a very young girl in sprit and told the women I had a young girl here, That’s
Katie she said, I told her not to tell me anymore, I then felt myself choking
and seen a grape in my mind. She confirmed this, as her daughter died at the
age of two after she gave her a grape which got stuck in her throat. (Very sad
this) I asked her if Katie climbed up into her sink and played in the sink in
her kitchen, after that experience earlier where I heard a bang in my kitchen,
she confirmed that she loved playing in the sink and would always be making
noises, there were lots of other validations, but what got me was the message.
Katie had two brothers and her Mother was now pregnant again,
her Dad was in the Gulf with the armed forces. Her Mother was so grief stricken
as she gave her the grape that made her choke and felt so guilty that she was
very depressed and not spending quality time with her brothers or Dad.
Derek Live on Air
Katie told her though me that it was not her fault, and that
her brothers needed their Mum back, she was ok as she was with her Nan, I could
feel the grief lift from her Mother. There was a lot more which is personal and
also very moving.
To me that made it all worth while that day and also taught
me how important the messages from sprit are. Yes I was on the psychic phone
lines and I know that there is bad press about these lines but there are
genuine psychics and mediums who work on these lines who just want to help.
Wasn’t long after that I ended up on TV working with the Psychic today team on sky Chanel 886 and have appeared in the studios, but remember the law has changed and we are now very restricted by what we can do live on air and that is why just now I am very careful about doing facebook live readings.

 

Thinking about all those that have lost a loved one and are still grieving, being a medium and a sensitive soul I feel your pain, but I also have the privilege to feel the love and that love never dies. Keep sending love today

Finding your  own Spiritual way.

Finding your own way; if anyone had said to me 15 to 20 years ago that I would be doing what I am today I would have said there off their head. Looking back now I had always had gifts but had not realised, very often what stares us in the face we don’t notice, like a smell that is around and we cant figure out why, a certain tobacco smell then you realise that it was your granddad’s pipe tobacco and you think to yourself how can that be? He’s dead

Even this time last year I was drawn to two roses, at a certain time and something told me to take a photo of them.Then a client phoned and asked me if I would do a mediumship reading for her when I got home to Fort William and guess what,  her late husband loved roses and I should her the pictures and it brought a tear to her eyes. So keep your eyes open and you never know you may be a similar experience

Wild flowers remind us that beautiful things can happen even in hard to grow areas, all they need is a little light and love.
Spread some light and love today to those in your life going though the darkest challenges life can bring us at times. When we send it unconditionally with love, they then can see it’s possible to recover and flower again!
You have a major problem and can’t think of a way out of it, and then suddenly you get a thought from nowhere with the answer. I have found that most of the friends I have who are developing, have went though some really bad times and had to find that inner strength or self belief from somewhere.

One thing I have learnt you have to find yourself first and understand how you feel about yourself. It’s no use helping others and taking on their problems if you feel unhappy, sad, miserable, frustrated or crazy. You’re just adding to your own problems.

 

That is why we can empathise with many of our clients as we have been though similar experiences.

What a great feeling it is to help them, help themselves by sharing our experiences, which I think is the best gift to give, and tell you what it costs £0000. The more advanced we get in our mediumship; we can pass on some great learning’s and advice from our loved ones who have passed over plus some great information from the spirit world in general.

Yes we have sometimes to pay for readings from the more advanced mediums but in today’s world how many chat/advice lines do we phone that cost £0.45-£1.50 per min? lots and that’s not the psychic ones, Sprit is always there they don’t have answering machines and days off, there with us 24/7 (that doesn’t mean they watch us in the toilet or in bed etc. I have had some strange questions from clients about that lol)

Its very worthwhile investing your time and a little money in developing your skills, and it’s ok to take a donation or charge for your time when you give a reading, use your judgement. I have given more free readings than paid ones but what I got back in return money could not buy (love)

If I had not been though hard times of loss when I was young working offshore with events like the Piper Alpha, loss of a brother to suicide and so on…. I could in some ways not do what I do, so yes I agree we need to learn, but it is also right to have fun and not feel guilty about it. Halloween gives us an opportunity to do that.

 

Piper Alpha

We work hard for the times we can spend lots on ourselves and family, we must learn to receive as well as give. I spent so many years running after folk fighting their battles for them I forgot about me, Ended up in hospital with a slipped disk with a choice have an operation or you will be in a wheel chair for life. I had to sit for 10 days and not move, but boy did that not change my life, and in some ways, the life of others as I took action then to turn it around as we do live in the now, not the past life or in the future. I live for the moment and enjoy it as much as I can good bad or indifferent. I think we should ask for stuff for ourselves and take a break from our lessons and just live for the moment.

Enjoy sailing through your day, be guided by that divine light inside you, give all your troubles to the angels and just breathe and relax today, allow yourself space to think and just be in the moment, find that peace inside and realise you are calm and will overcome your challenges in time but for now I am at peace and feeling that divine love and light!

I discovered that some of my late highland relations also had signs of psychic abilities and that Scotland has a history of mysticism . My great Gran Mary MacKenzie was said to have shown signs of psychic abilities the MacKenzie Clan are linked to the Famous Brahan Seer more info can be found on the Clan wed site www.clan-mackenzie.org.uk

more info cant be got from story a written about this in Chat its fate.

Down load here

I am not tied to any faith . I do however believe in life after death and the holy spirit I was brought up within the Church of Scotland and continue to attend services in that church I do attend services in other churches.

Being Spiritual does not tie you to a church or a belief it is a way of life.I discovered that some of my late highland relations also had signs of psychic abilities and that Scotland has a history of mysticism . My great Gran Mary MacKenzie was said to have shown signs of psychic abilities the MacKenzie Clan are linked to the Famous Brahan Seer more info can be found on the Clan wed site www.clan-mackenzie.org.uk
I have some amazing experiences and I will share some of them here just now.

People have been asking about the Photo on my Facebook and
my web site, from March 30th 2012, of me and a hazy image of a dog,
there is also a faint image of head and shoulders on the left of the lady in
front of me. I never thought when the photo was taken that I would be so
amazed, I uploaded the photo straight from my iphone, so folk wouldn’t think I
had made it up, that week I had been asking for evidence from the spirit world
if what I was feeling and seeing in my mind was true, not that I was
questioning it, but I had just started doing more live demonstrations and always
get nervous before hand, as I still do now because we have no idea what’s going
to happen. So this did give me a lot of confidence to carry on doing
demonstrations.

The night the photo was taken, was the first time I’d been to one of Dereks’ shows, although I had seen him for a private reading previously. I had been impressed with his reading for me, and had decided to go to the show to see how it all worked with a crowd. As the evening progressed, I felt very emotional, and was feeling slightly nervous. I don’t know why, as I wasn’t involved in any way. Near the end, Derek said he had a message for me, but it didn’t seem relevant at the time. I had been getting “visions”, and “smells” all night, of things I couldn’t make head nor tail of . Then he hit on the dogs theme….German Shepherds, to be precise! I had a lot of involvement with my sisters’ dogs, over the years. She had German Shepherds since her late teens, and I had looked after them a lot when she was away etc. I had also been the person who buried a couple of them when they died. I laughed to myself about it, and thought no more.

At the end, when I was leaving, I watched a couple of people who I didn’t know, take photos of Derek, standing in front of the seating area. I was drawn to the scene…although there was nothing to see. I eventually left, but found myself hanging back for some reason. I think I was one of the last to leave. I felt a bit sad as I went down the stairs…a feeling I quite often get if I am near the scene of a fatal accident, or if I go back to places I once associate with family and friends who are no longer with me. I threw it of, and went home.

The next day, I still had a feeling of “sadness” about me. I just couldn’t seem to throw it off. A few hours later, I came across a photo on Facebook, one of the audience had taken the night before. Derek was standing looking towards the camera, with a hand out stretched by his side. Looking up towards his hand was a hazy image of what looked to me like a LARGE DOG! I couldn’t believe it. Was this the dog who was communicating with me? The possibilities are endless. I haven’t been able to see Derek in person since, but when I do, I hope for a similar experience. I have worked on my own spiritual development since, but have not reached the level I need to act on my “visions” and feelings I get. I would love to work with Derek, for a while, and further develop my capabilities.

Kenny Gray

This was my second time going to Derek’s show, Derek and I became friends  at his show there was a guy who Derek, had been drawn to and gave him some validations and messages from departed friends, then as he pulled away Derek said he felt two dogs “German Sheppard’s.” And if it meant anything to him, he said it did, after that Derek closed the show but Derek said to me that he did not have a photo for his profile/Facebook etc, so I took his phone and I took a few pictures for Derek. We did not think anything of it, then we went for a few drinks back at the hotel chatting away we both had a look at the photo and couldn’t believe what we were seeing in the photo the picture of the dog. We posted it on Facebook and Kenny commented on it saying it was the dogs. Amazing eh!

Nicola Gemmell .

Wasn’t long after that I did a show in Aberdeen’s Holburn Bar upstairs and this photo was taken. and you can see a lady and other faith images of orbs etc.

Have a great Halloween.