An open question can be defined thus:
An open question is likely to receive a long answer.
Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.
Using open questions
Open questions have the following characteristics:
They ask the respondent to think and reflect.
They will give you opinions and feelings.
They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.
This makes open questions useful in the following situations:
As a follow-on from closed questions, to develop a conversation and open up someone who is rather quiet.
|What did you do on you holidays?
How do you keep focused on your work?
|To find out more about a person, their wants, needs, problems, and so on.
||What’s keeping you awake these days?
Why is that so important to you?
|To get people to realise the extend of their problems (to which, of course, you have the solution).
||I wonder what would happen if your customers complained even more?
Rob Jones used to go out late. What happened to him?
|To get them to feel good about you by asking after their health or otherwise demonstrating human concern about them.
||How have you been after your operation?
You’re looking down. What’s up?
Open questions begin with such as: what, why, how, describe.
Using open questions can be scary, as they seem to hand the baton of control over to the other person. However, well-placed questions do leave you in control as you steer their interest and engage them where you want them.
When opening conversations, a good balance is around three closed questions to one open question. The closed questions start the conversation and summarise progress, whilst the open question gets the other person thinking and continuing to give you useful information about them.
A neat trick is to get them to ask you open questions. This then gives you the floor to talk about what you want. The way to achieve this is to intrigue them with an incomplete story or benefit.
Being lonely at night time.
A lot of my clients have problems at night time and find it hard to sleep as they worry about being alone, especially after the loss of a loved one, or the break up of a relationship. It takes time to adjust and often counselling can help, being more relaxed, Reading positive books, watching funny programs, write down ideas, I used to go for a drive and get out of the house, avoid caffeine etc. get advice on that, see your doctor, nurse etc
Its trial and error what works for others may not work for you.
All you folk who have a troubled mind tonight just relax and let the Angels take over for a while. just feel yourself happy or what it’s like to be happy remember a time you felt happy, and feel it now and how good it is to be happy, this Happy medium is now happy your happy, and if your not happy reading my happy post by now, then you will be happy as all this is trying to do is let you feel how happy I am you have read my happy post. If you can’t get happy then just say sod this unhappy feeling I have and by now the universe is working on making you happy lol
Night all for Christ sake be happy !!!!
How mediation can help you over come loneliness.
Meditation, means being ‘pleasantly anchored in the present moment’. With the hectic lifestyle people live in today, stress is a strong contributor to heart disease and high blood pressure. This is why it is important to learn to relax and relax our body. And this can be achieved through meditation. Meditation is easy for us to incorporate into our lives.
Meditation is becoming more and more popular every day and there is a reason behind this. Scientists study it; doctors recommend it and millions of people all over the world practice it every day. Why? Because meditation works. Meditation is not just a matter of belief or disbelief. Meditation can improve our achievements and it can help us,we can develop hidden talents and capabilities that we had forgotten we possess. Achieve more with less effort – that is the essence of Meditation.
Meditations can completely relax our body and mind and it can also make our brain more alert and make our heart relax. It refreshes us completely and gets us ready for another batch of work. It also helps us block out any distractions that may come across our way.
You don’t have to sit with knees crossed or anything funny, we all meditate at certain times of the day, like when were doing the Ironing, cooking, reading etc
So use that time when you feel lonely to meditate or try mindfulness, often this gives as an incite to ourselves and you may even enjoy it, this doesn’t have to be done alone, there are groups and very often classes where you can be given guided meditations to start with.
There are lots of books on it and lots of CDs best to find you own way to meditate and just relax.
If you have
for some distant day to come,
it may be too
late before you’ve even begun.
will agree with all you decide.
Be true to
yourself first and foremost.
important thing in life is what you do
with the time
you spend here on Earth.
afraid to follow your desires,
they are not
silly nor selfish.
Take the time
and do what makes you feel alive.
fears and regrets in the past,
for this is
where they belong.
today with things that can’t be undone.
You have no
more control over yesterday or tomorrow,
than you do
the raging of your passions.
Do not quiet
these dreams nor quench your desires.
For if you
do, your journey is ended.
You have only
today to begin anew and follow your dreams.
For in the
end all we have are our memories.
twilight comes to us, let there be,
no explanations, no regrets!
Remember to laugh and what made you laugh, remember what worked in the past, when you were lonely before, avoid the comfort zones i.e. eating and drinking to much just to cheer yourself up, if that is what you enjoy, ask people round, go see others, join a befriend group, often helping others you can help yourself. do that course you have always wanted to do, use that lonely time in a constructive way.
I really don’t want to see you or help you get rid of an additive behaviour like Gambling and drinking as you aren’t facing up to things, when we do that, have a list of things you can do when you feel lonely, hand write it as it helps to log it in to your subconscious mind. Stay focused on your well being and never be afraid to ask for help!
OK things happen out with your control, and we say why me? You have the ability to overcome the challenges, just laugh let go of all the stress, take a deep breath and feel that laughter come back and feel that energy inside saying, sod this! Time to accept and move forward.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!
some useful web sites