Listen to your heart.

Listen to your heart.

Start listening to your gut feelings and your heart.
It always surprises me that practically every client relates to this tool in some way!
Tool:
  • Do you feel stressed and harassed during the day, like you’re always doing things to please others rather than yourself?
  • Do you have problems making decisions about insignificant matters?
  • Are you unsure about what it is you really want?
  • Do you find yourself doing things you really don’t want to do and continually acting out of obligation?
Part of being an adult is learning to put the needs of others, such as our children or employer, ahead of ourselves. But we can become so used to doing what we feel we should do, or living by the expectations of others that we lose touch with ourselves.
If we stop listening to our hearts voice, eventually we won’t recognize it. Then we wonder why our life is so dry and un-spontaneous!
We need to re-open the conversation with our heart – to remember how to listen to our heart and not just our head.
Here’s how to recognize your hearts voice:
When you’re feeling stressed or that you feel you have lost your center, ask yourself two questions,
1. What am I feeling now?”
2. “I would like … ?”
Try to listen to the first thought – which will be from your heart –– not your head which comes in with chatter and rationalizing afterwards.
If the message from your heart is possible and practical – then do it– take a break, call a friend, pop out for a coffee, jump up from your desk and shout “Yes!”.
If this impulse is not realistic like quitting your job – just note your hearts message until its convenient to follow through, but be careful – this habit is life changing!
Why not try following your heart and doing one spontaneous thing every day?
And … if you really want to be immature and have fun in a boring, “grown up” situation, ask yourself:
What would I do if I was 5?
Bring back the fun into you life today.

Psychic Protection.

Psychic Protection.

You can book a session online here or text/call 07468119635 email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

WHAT IS GROUNDING/ EARTHING? 

These notes are only guidelines to aid you on your own Spiritual Path, and as with all spiritual work, it is often about finding your own Truth. If you disagree or feel uncomfortable with anything that is suggested here by all means find an alternative Truth that is acceptable to you.

Grounding/Earthen is all about the awareness that we are still in a physical body as well as endeavouring to become spiritual workers and beings.

Why is it so important that we ground/ earth ourselves?

Below you will find a few ways in which being grounded can make such a difference to our everyday life:

• Brings life into matter and to be able to bring our healing abilities into the physical.

• Increases balance and stability in our physical and emotional state.

• Helps bring acceptance that we are here to fulfil a purpose.

• Brings strength.

• Helps in creating a bridge between Spirit and matter.

• Provides an outlet making the release [of energy] easier.

• Allows the attainment of higher Spiritual levels.

As a healer it is very important to keep your patient grounded.

Create waves of love today even when your faced with negativity because of what you do, always send love instead of hate, two wrongs never work, as the saying not knowing is not understanding and not understanding is not knowing. Just be yourself and respect the fact that not everyone understands you. Forgive and send twice as much love as they need it to calm their hate or fears which are false anyway. The truth is we are all created from love and if we shine that love bright it will go where it’s needed! 

 

If you need help and a chat about developing your Psychic/Spiritual awareness skills book a Spiritual development reading with Derek.

How will I know if I am grounded or ungrounded?

Below is a list of some of the more common symptoms of being ungrounded. Usually each individual will encounter the same one or two symptoms each time they are ungrounded. ·

• Dizziness

• Daydreaming

• A feeling of being “spaced out”.

• Feeling sick.

• Heart palpitations.

• Eyes flickering.

• Weight gain.

• Clumsiness.

• Static shocks.

• Falling asleep when meditating.

• Noise and light sensitive.

• Forgetful.

• Having brilliant ideas that never happen

• Arguing and unable to get your point across.

[ Please note that many of these symptoms can also be linked to the physical] 

 

If you need help and a chat about developing your Psychic/Spiritual awareness skills book a Spiritual development reading with Derek.

ESCAPE ROUTES

This information is for you to use if you are meditating, either on your own, or within a group. It is important to understand, that when you are working in the Alpha state, your defences are down in order to receive information from the Higher Self, your Guardian Angel, Guides or helpers.

Whilst we are working in this level, we need an escape route that we can use, if there is an emergency such as a fire, or flood, or anything electrical. The sound of a telephone, or a doorbell, or any sudden loud noise, can cause an immense problem within the solar plexus area, so you will need to know how to deal with any eventuality that may arise. This, of course, is the reason that many mediums will tell you that it is not really a good thing to meditate on your own, unless you are strong enough to deal with shock during meditation.

Also there is the possibility of slipping into trance, and being unable to bring yourself back, but rest assured on this one, that as long as you give yourself instructions to come back after a specified length of time, you will fall into a natural sleep, and awaken normally.

Therefore, I will endeavour to give you some examples of how you can help yourself, so that you will not have to experience this painful discomfort. Obviously, you will have to experiment, to find out which escape route that can be used to your best advantage, or, if none of the following can help, please try an idea, or something of your own that you can feel comfortable with.

1. Just look around behind you, for the lift door, get in and go straight up, knowing that this is a special lift, that heals and awakens you as you go up to the surface. Then be ready immediately to deal with the emergency.

2. Take hold of your Guardian Angel’s hand, and just fly up to the surface. Knowing and trusting that they will do all that is necessary to protect you, and be ready to face whatever emergency is to hand.

3. Bring your bubble of protection around you, and hold it tight, as you lift yourself to the surface, keeping your protection around you, until you become aware, and can deal with whatever is going on.

4. Trust in the Divine Power to protect you, and just float lo the surface, ready to attend to whatever needs to be done. [ this is the one! use for myself]

 

When I have done a lot of private sessions I find going for a walk and connecting to nature can help to ground myself. the video I made in Skye when in Portree is a good example of this, I also find music can help me to unwind and feel more grounded.

 

N.B. The best colour to use you choose, is the colour yellow. This is colour brings the energy that your solar plexus needs in times of emergency, otherwise its resources can be depleted, and you can find yourself tired for a day or two afterwards.

If you need help and a chat about developing your Psychic/Spiritual awareness skills book a Spiritual development reading with Derek.

WHAT IS PROTECTION?

These notes are only guidelines to aid you on your own spiritual path, and as with all spiritual work it is often about finding your own Truth. If you disagree or feel uncomfortable with anything that is suggested here, by all means find an alternative Truth, that is acceptable to you.

What is Protection, and why do we need it?

As Human Beings we are all placed on this earth in a physical body. Many of us may choose to do the work of Spirit and therefore become aware that there is much more to life than just a physical body.

As we become in tune with ourselves and those around us we realise that everything and everything is made up of energy.

I am sure that we all have been aware of standing in a queue and feeling uncomfortable as someone steps into our space.

This is them (Sprit) invading our aura [energy field], and if our energy field is unprotected we will pick up on any energy that they may be giving out.

You can book a session online here or text/call 07468119635 email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

This energy can be both positive and negative, and it is important for us to learn that we can pick up and take on board this energy, especially as we start to develop our intuition and spiritual awareness.

We become more sensitive to the energies that constantly surround us, and then it becomes important to know what we should do, to avoid becoming susceptible to any negativity that we may encounter. The more spiritually aware and intuitive we are, the more sensitive we become, to all the energies around us.

We especially need to be aware, of protecting our energy fields when dealing with other people, as a healer/medium or clairvoyant for example. We need to make sure that we don’t take on any unnecessary emotions/problems that the client may have brought with them.

If you need help and a chat about developing your Psychic/Spiritual awareness skills book a Spiritual development reading with Derek.

How will I know if I am protected or not?

Being unprotected normally manifests itself within the emotional and spiritual bodies. Below is a list of some symptoms you may feel if your energy field is unprotected.

• Irritable/losing your temper.

• Drained.

• Nightmares.

• Easily influenced by others.

• Threatened/defensive. •

• Fanatical about someone.

• Feeling other people’s emotions/pain

• Bumping into people.

• Copying or living your life through others.

• On a physical level you can feel pain in the back of your neck, solar plexus [pit of stomach], or wrists.

So how do I build up my protection?

You can build up and protect your own energy in a number of ways. Here are a few easy examples to follow.

• Keep fit and well.

• ·Drink lots of water.

• Wear protective colours -for example gold, silver, violet or blue.

• Wear or carry crystals with a protective quality – for example Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Sugilite, Laramar, Gold Tiger’s eye, and Hawks Eye [blue Tigers Eye] Black tourmaline, Hematite for psychic protection.

You can book a session online here or text/call 07468119635 email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

Wear or use protective symbols -for example The Egyptian Ankh, Rune symbol, Star of David [six-pointed star], Circle, Egg, Pentagram [five-pointed star], especially for Wiccans/Pagans, Pyramid or Cross, Symbols are very personal things, so only wear or carry what feels right for you and what you are comfortable with.

Visualisation – for example, a good exercise is to imagine you are sitting in an egg of light. The base of the egg is sitting just below the floor [so you are grounded] and you are surrounded in your egg by a lovely protective colour [gold, silver, violet or blue]. You can make sure that your egg-shell is solid so that no negative energy can penetrate it. Any negative thoughts/emotions that you may have will not get out, and no negative thoughts/emotions from others will be allowed in. In turn each negative energy or thought pattern will hit the egg-shell and slide down it into the ground to be transmuted into positive energy.

If you need help and a chat about developing your Psychic/Spiritual awareness skills book a Spiritual development reading with Derek.

I use crystals and one of the best ones I feel is Black Tourmaline.

Black Tourmaline crystal is a powerful stone for protection against negative energy of all kinds, as well as being a strong spiritual grounding stone.

This is one of the most popular crystals to be used for metaphysical purposes. Many people, and I am amongst this group, believe this is the best protection stone that you can use.

Also known as Schorl, it encourages positive attitudes, good luck and happiness, regardless of the circumstances that you find yourself in.

They are wonderful aids to both the professional healer and the average person who wants a stone that will be a positive force for good in your life, as it creates a positive attitude and mindset.

More info at http://www.healing-crystals-for-you.com/black-tourmaline.html

Feel free to leave comments and any ideas you have.
Derek McGillivray
You can book a session online here or text/call 07468119635 email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

Coping with life’s Challenges.

Coping with life’s Challenges.

Coping with life’s Challenges.

 

 

 

Lets face it, life can be challenging at times, and its how we deal with the difficult times that matter, we need to find ways of coping with the challenges, this is what I call coping mechanisms.

 

Life is like a cup of tea, I love to make myself a cup to relax with, it doesn’t matter what cup I make it in, or how I make it, what type of tea bag or flavour, it’s how I make it, sometimes I will try a different tea, it still doesn’t matter what cup I put it in. Life is not the cup and it doesn’t matter how big or small the cup is, it’s still the same tea. Like life it doesn’t matter what you have, it’s your life so enjoy it. Make that tea the best tea you can have!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Over the years I have had many hard situations to deal with, loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, rejection, the list can go on and on. the real success is when we overcome them, by using positive coping mechanisms.

We have to look at what do we do now and ask yourself this?

• When under pressure I
……………………….……………………….

• I often feel guilty about
……………………………………………………….
• When ………………………. happens I
stress out and feel like ……………………….
• My Achilles’ heel (greatest
weakness) is ……………………….
• I am always trying to stop
……………………..…………. from happening.
• When the unexpected happens
I ………………………………………………………..
• I always try to
………………………………………………………..
• The biggest obstacle that
stops me loving and approving of myself is ……………….
• What drives most of my behaviour
is …………………………………………….
• I am afraid of
………………………………………………………..
• I seek my ……………’s approval
(always / mostly / usually / occasionally)
• My most frequent negative /
uncomfortable emotion is feeling ………………….
• The feeling I dislike the
most is ……………………….
• I need to learn to
………………………………………………………..

 

Congratulations – that took
courage!
Now look at better ways of coping. and do that again until your happy you have better solution’s.
What are coping mechanisms?

Taken from Wikipedia.

In psychology, coping means to invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict.[1][2][3][4][5]

The psychological coping mechanisms are commonly termed coping strategies or coping skills. The term coping generally refers to adaptive (constructive) coping strategies. That is strategies which reduce stress. In contrast, other coping strategies may be coined as maladaptive, if they increase stress. Maladaptive coping is therefore also described, when looking at the outcome, as non-coping. Furthermore, the term coping generally refers to reactive coping, i.e. the coping response which follows the stressor. This differs from proactive coping, in which a coping response aims to neutralize a future stressor. Subconscious or non-conscious strategies (e.g. defense mechanisms) are generally excluded from the area of coping.

The effectiveness of the coping effort depends on: the type of stress, the individual and the circumstances. Coping responses are partly controlled by personality (habitual traits), but also partly by the social environment, particularly the nature of the stressful environment.

Lets look at other options, rather that going to the Pub or having that big fat cake!
We often suffer from anxiety when we are trying to cope and I found these tips a great help from the Real Simple website

You’ve been in bed for an hour now and you still can’t get to sleep. Maybe you’re thinking about your job  or health insurance. Perhaps some problem with your kids has your mind spinning on its late-night hamster wheel of worry. Whatever the issue, you can’t get it out of your head, so you try to solve it then and there. Before you know it, another hour has passed. Now you start fretting about the fact that you can’t get to sleep. “I’ll be a wreck tomorrow,” you tell yourself. “I’ve got to sleep now.” Doesn’t do the trick though, does it?

We’ve all been there. But the good news is, there is something you can do to help―something more effective than the usual advice to “be positive” or just “stop thinking so much.” The latest research on anxiety suggests innovative, even odd, techniques for coping successfully with recurrent worries. I’ve seen these work for hundreds of patients. In fact, I’ve found that most people can get a grip on things if they take a few minutes to develop a different relationship with their thoughts and feelings. Here are 10 approaches to try.

1. Repeat your worry until you’re bored silly. If you had a fear of elevators, you’d get rid of it if you rode in one a thousand times in a row. At first, you would be very anxious, then less so, and eventually it would have no effect (except to make you sick of riding in an elevator). So take the troublesome thought that’s nagging at you and say it over and over, silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. It’s hard to keep your mind on a worry if you repeat it that many times. I call this the “boredom cure” for obvious reasons, but it sure beats feeling overwhelmed by anxiety.

2. Make it worse. When you try too hard to control your anxieties, you only heighten them. Instead, exaggerate them and see what happens. For instance, if you fear that your mind will go blank during a presentation, fake it intentionally in the middle of your next one. Say, “Gee, what was I just saying?” Notice how this makes no difference. It’s nothing to worry about, right? I did this at a lecture once and no one raised an eyebrow. (Perhaps they weren’t listening anyway!)

3. Don’t fight the craziness. You may occasionally have thoughts that lead you to think you’ll do something terrible (“I’m attracted to him. Does that mean I’ll have an affair?”) or that you’re going insane (a client of mine who is an attorney kept imagining herself screaming in court). Remember―our minds are creative. Little synapses are firing away at random, and every now and then a “crazy” thought jumps out. Everyone has them. Instead of judging yours, describe it to yourself like it’s a curious object on a shelf and move on.

4. Recognise false alarms. That fear of your house burning down because you left the iron on has never come true. That rapid heart beat doesn’t mean you’re having a heart attack; it’s your body’s natural response to arousal. Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concern―even panic―are just background noise. Think of each of them as a fire engine going to another place. You’ve noticed them; now let them pass by.

5. Turn your anxiety into a movie. You can let go of a worry by disconnecting yourself from it. One way is to imagine that your anxious thoughts are a show. Maybe they’re a little guy in a funny hat who tap dances and sings out your worry while you sit in the audience, eating popcorn, a calm observer.6. Set aside worry time. All too often we take a “Crackberry” approach to our worries: They show up unannounced, like constantly dinging e-mails, and we stop everything to address them―even if we should be doing something else. But what if you don’t respond right away? Try setting aside 20 minutes every day―let’s say at 4:30 p.m.―just for your worries. If you are fretting at 10 a.m., jot down the reason and resolve to think it through later. By the time 4:30 comes around, many of your troubles won’t even matter anymore. And you will have spent almost an entire day anxiety-free.

7. Take your hand off the horn. You constantly check the weather before a big outdoor event. You replay that clumsy comment you made, wishing you could take it back. And, yes, you honk your horn in traffic. When you desperately try to take command of things that can’t be controlled, you’re like the swimmer who panics and slaps at the water, screaming. It gets you nowhere. Instead, imagine that you are floating along on the water with your arms spread out, looking up to the sky. It’s a paradox, but when you surrender to the moment, you actually feel far more in control.

8. Breathe it out. You may notice that when your body is tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on breathing is a common but effective technique for calming the nerves. Where is your breath now, and where is your mind? Bring them together. Listen to the movement of your breath. Does your mind wander somewhere else? Call it back. Concentrate only on breathing in and out, beginning and ending, breath to breath, moment to moment.

9. Make peace with time. When you’re a worrier, everything can feel like an emergency. But notice this about all your anxious arousal: It’s temporary. Every feeling of panic comes to an end, every concern eventually wears itself out, every so-called emergency seems to evaporate. Ask yourself, “How will I feel about this in a week or a month?” This one, too, really will pass.

10. Don’t let your worries stop you from living your life. Many of them will turn out to be false, and the consequences of your anxiety―less sleep, a rapid pulse, a little embarrassment―are just inconveniences when it comes down to it. What can you still do even if you feel anxious? Almost anything.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

I found these suggestions of coping mechanisms. from your life your voice website

Exercise (running, walking, etc.).
Put on fake tattoos.
Write (poetry, stories, journal).
Scribble/doodle on paper.
Be with other people.
Watch a favorite TV show.
Post on web boards, and answer others’ posts.
Go see a movie.
Do a wordsearch or crossword.
Do schoolwork.
Play a musical instrument.

Paint your nails, do your make-up or hair.
Sing.
Study the sky.
Punch a punching bag.
Cover yourself with Band-Aids where you want to cut.
Let yourself cry.
Take a nap (only if you are tired).
Take a hot shower or relaxing bath.
Play with a pet.
Go shopping.
Clean something.
Knit or sew.
Read a good book.
Listen to music.
Try some aromatherapy (candle, lotion, room spray).
Meditate.
Go somewhere very public.
Bake cookies.
Alphabetise your CDs/DVDs/books.
Paint or draw.
Rip paper into itty-bitty pieces.
Shoot hoops, kick a ball.
Write a letter or send an email.
Plan your dream room (colours/furniture).
Hug a pillow or stuffed animal.
Hyper-focus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
Dance.
Make hot chocolate, milkshake or smoothie.
Play with modelling clay or Play-Dough.
Build a pillow fort.
Go for a nice, long drive.
Complete something you’ve been putting off.
Draw on yourself with a marker.
Take up a new hobby.
Look up recipes, cook a meal.
Look at pretty things, like flowers or art.
Create or build something.
Pray.
Make a list of blessings in your life.
Read the Bible.
Go to a friend’s house.
Jump on a trampoline.
Watch an old, happy movie.
Contact a hotline/ your therapist.
Talk to someone close to you.
Ride a bicycle.
Feed the ducks, birds, or squirrels.
Colour with Crayons.
Memorise a poem, play, or song.
Stretch.
Search for ridiculous things on the internet.
“Shop” on-line (without buying anything).

Colour-coordinate your wardrobe.
Watch fish.
Make a CD/playlist of your favourite songs.
Play the “15 minute game.” (Avoid something for 15 minutes, when time is up start again.)
Plan your wedding/prom/other event.
Plant some seeds.
Hunt for your perfect home or car on-line.
Try to make as many words out of your full name as possible.
Sort through your photographs.
Play with a balloon.
Give yourself a facial.
Find yourself some toys and play.
Start collecting something.
Play video/computer games.
Clean up trash at your local park.
Perform a random act of kindness for someone.
Text or call an old friend.
Write yourself an “I love you because…” letter.
Look up new words and use them.
Rearrange furniture.
Write a letter to someone that you may never send.
Smile at least five people.
Play with little kids.
Go for a walk (with or without a friend).
Put a puzzle together.
Clean your room /closet.
Try to do handstands, cartwheels, or back bends.
Yoga.
Teach your pet a new trick.
Learn a new language.
Move EVERYTHING in your room to a new spot.
Get together with friends and play Frisbee, soccer or basketball.
Hug a friend or family member.
Search on-line for new songs/artists.
Make a list of goals for the week/month/year/5 years.
Face paint.

Don’t get frustrated with life’s challenges!
 
 
​​​We can all laugh now and relax. Take that time out and think of better coping strategies for the future.
Practice mindfulness and meditated, learn as much as you can, don’t just sit there and be alone.

Build up your emergency care kit and if you need help. feel free to ask, and together we will build up your coping mechanisms and strategies to succeed though life’s challenges.

 

 

My Dream Partner

My Dream Partner

My Dream Partner

This blog is about finding that true love, even if you have a loving and caring partner, spread this to someone who’s been suffering from a bad relationship, a loss or have been lonely. Everyone has true love inside them its sharing that love and finding the right person is a journey full of lessons and hurdles to overcome. There is no right or wrong there is just is love.

After some of my own personal challenges with diabetes, where we have to deal with change, fear and sometimes acceptance. Knowing that you could die from hypos or the sugar highs, you soon realize that life has to be lived in the now, you learn to cope with what you can’t change, but we also learn that solutions can be found, if we keep positive, never give up! Give others the chance to help you, and most of all give yourself a chance to help yourself by stopping and taking the time out to look after your own needs and wants. We can’t help others unless we help and support ourselves!

The saying givers gain is true, only if you give back to yourself. If you need help to get the balance back and find that happy medium in your life by putting yourself first, when we take back that control, we are ready to find that true balance in life and hopefully find that true love of an other.

Living on the edge of life, can be inspiring. We can all jump into something without thinking of the consequences but we all have the power within to take a step back from the edge and enjoy the view, we should only jump of the edge when we know it’s right and we have a parachute to soften the landing, so we can also enjoy the journey on the way down. This is me at the top of a hill in front of Ben Nevis where a lot of folk jump of in a parachute, made me think about my life and how nice it would be to take a risk again when i was getting over a relationship.
Wild flowers remind us that beautiful things can happen even in hard to grow areas, all they need is a little light and love.
Spread some light and love today to those in your life going though the darkest challenges life can bring us at times. When we send it unconditionally with love, they then can see it’s possible to recover and flower again!
This was flowers I was drawn to and took photos of before a reading I did with someone who lost her husband and she was still very young and needed to move forward, a rose is a strong beautiful flower but has thorns that can hurt you. But we still move on!

We can all stand alone on the top of a mountain and look back on the journey there, at times we feel like giving up, we feel the pain, we lack the resources and energy to carry on, then just as you feel you want to give up some stranger you don’t know comes out of the blue and offers you help a drink and bit of food. 

Life gives us what we need we just have to learn to receive as well as giving out. We all have mountains to climb some bigger than others, you may have to regroup, think again, go a different route but when you finally achieve it after learning the lessons on the journey there, we then feel we can climb a bigger one and have the strength to reach the top every time.

If we believe in ourselves others will believe in you and help you on your way. Never allow that big mountains in life we climb, to defeat you. Allow yourself the time and energy and most of all the love from others to drive you to the top!

When I was working on the Psychic phone lines on National TV, one of the most common questions was what will my next partner be like? what do you see? The fact that as a psychic, we only see possibilities and options there is never any guarantees, this made me question why so many people fail to learn from past mistakes? What could I do to encourage success in relationships?
The first thing we need to accept is you need to work at it, don’t give up, people change over time, it a constant change, learning and when it works, its beautiful to see and feel.
 Your time is very important and as we get older we value our time more!
My Time
My time has a value and worth.
My time is given wisely.
My time goes to quick I can’t catch it.
My time is wasted by others.
My time has been lost.
But your time has come and your time is now.
Put down the phone and all the other time consuming devices.
As my time is mine to use not to waste on others who don’t value my time.
Spend time with yourself and listen to yourself, make time today
If your seeing people who waste your time then its time to move on, those who say yes, we will do this and that and don’t, are not worth your time and energy.
Not every woman or man you meet will become a lover, but they could become great friends, who have friends also, that could become a lover. If you keep meeting the same type of partners and it doesn’t work out try going or doing something different, you wont meet your dream partner in your local pub if you been with all the available women/ men and find there not for you.
I was also told by a wise woman,” rejection is gods protection.” so don’t take it to heart.
Ask where can I go?
What type of person do I want to meet?
Where do these people go?
Am I confident at asking people out? If  not how can I gain confidence?
Use positive loving affirmations to gain confidence.
Relationship Affirmations
 
I have happy relationships. Positive Daily Affirmations for Relationships
Examples of positive daily affirmations for relationships include:
1. I am a confident and positive person, and confident and positive persons gravitate toward me every day.
2. I know who I obviously am and what I like in personal relationships.
3. I am attracting powerfully positive and healthy people into my life.
4. I am caring, smart, supportive, loyal, and fun to be with.
5. I feel completely at ease and comfortable with all types of people.
6. I am winning in all my relationships.
7. I am a positive and valuable contributor to my relationships.
8. I possess complete ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings to everyone, and I express myself wisely.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!
I found this tool a few years back and its a useful tool to help in seeking that dream partner.
This tool helps you imagine the qualities of your dream partner. By making a quiz about your dream partner you can create a clear picture of them in their mind.
When you have finished, you will have a list of the qualities you would like in a future partner.
Then, when you meet them – you will be able to recognize them straight away!
 
Part II is often the part people overlook.
Replace “He” and “She” below as appropriate.
Part I: Questions To Discover Your Future Partners Qualities
What qualities do you want your potential partner to demonstrate?
Think about your answers to these questions to get some ideas:
“How does he make me feel special?”
“What does she do when I’m sick in bed?”
“How does he show affection?”
“How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
“How does he make me laugh?”
“Her most important quality is …”
“The best thing about him is …”
For example:
Question: “How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
Qualities: He is respectful, attentive and kind.
Part II: Your Qualities
Love is not what you get, but what you give.
Harley M Storey

Now write down the qualities you will bring to the relationship.
Part III: Identifying Your Partners Qualities
In Part I you wrote a list of the qualities of your Future Partner.
But when you meet someone, how will you know if they have those qualities?
Now, write down examples of how they will express those qualities and what actions and behavior will demonstrate those qualities.
For example:
Question: “How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
Qualities: He is respectful, attentive and kind.
Behavior: He is attentive and considerate to me, and kind to the waitress.”

A card reading is a great fun way to look at your options, whether is a tarot or angel card reading I feel it does help to make your mind up. 



Life is full of choices, we can choose to remain positive though the tough times and find the strength to carry on, by doing so we encourage others to do the same. We can all remain positive and find that belief in ourselves that nothing stays the same and your time will come, if we keep dreaming of a positive outcome in time that dream will come true!

Don’t let life’s challenges, stop you from loving yourself, others can put you down, or make life difficult. We can’t change them as they can only change themselves, but we can top ourselves up of love, if the love has stopped coming as we all made of love ❤️ So stop procrastinating, get that cup of love, breathe and let go of what no longer serves you, anger, hate, etc and think of the new opportunities in the now and ahead, embrace the love inside and keep spreading true love to all!

If you need help, book a session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

What are Your Core Values?

What are Your Core Values?

Setting Core Values.

One of the first things I get my business clients to do is tell me their core values, what drives them? what do they need to project? How do you want to be seen? Whats their passion? and so on.
But not only do I use this form of questioning for my business clients, I now use it for my personal clients as we all have values and passions, we need to question ourselves at times and find out if we are following our core values, and if we feel we are not, What actions can we take to get back on track?
My first experience of living by core values came when I was working at PSN and oil service company in Aberdeen who went though a management buy out from Halliburton.
The then CO Robert (Bob) Keiller who lead the management buyout strongly believed in their core values which are divided into 7 core values, these were adopted by Woodgroup who bought the successful company after a few years of great growth. Bob lived and breathed these values and inspired his staff and collages to live by them also.
if you look at Woodgroups website you will see this statement:
Core values are at the heart of our business because they define who we are, how we work, what we believe in and what we stand for. Our core values set out how we act and how we expect to be treated as part of Wood Group and provide a sound basis to make decisions.

Robin Watson, chief executive

Safety & Assurance
Safety & Assurance is our top priority because lives depend on it. We passionately care about the safety of our people and behave as safety leaders. We are committed to preventing injuries and ill health to our people and those we work with so everyone returns home safely. We provide our people with the training, knowledge and tools to work safely and prevent accidents. We are focused on assuring the safety of everything we design, construct, operate and maintain.

Relationships
Our business depends on healthy relationships with customers, business partners, and suppliers. We build and nurture strong relationships that are mutually beneficial, making sure that we deeply understand the people we deal with, so that we can anticipate their needs and always aim to exceed their expectations. Everyone in our organisation contributes to the quality of the relationships we build and we actively seek feedback.

Social Responsibility

Being socially responsible is integral to what we do.We aim to make a positive difference to the communities where we operate and seek ways to assist them. We prioritise the hiring and development of local people and work with local supply chains where we can. We are committed to minimising the impact of our activities on the environment by conserving resources, reducing waste and emissions, and preventing environmental pollution and we work with our customers to provide the best environmental solutions.

People
People are the heart of our business. We are professional, high performing team players focused on delivering and drawing on our global expertise. We aim to attract, develop and retain the best people, treating each other with honesty, compassion and respect. We create a stimulating, fun and open work culture that promotes personal development and work/life balance, rewards competitively and celebrates success.

Innovation
Innovation gives us competitive advantage. We promote collaboration and sharing of ideas across our business. We have a structured approach to recognising innovations, rapidly testing ideas and sharing learning. We encourage our people to challenge established practices and achieve continuous improvement. We are committed to delivering thorough and sound solutions to every challenge.

Financial Responsibility
We expect to receive fair reward for our business performance. We are cost aware and carefully manage our own and our customers’ costs. We manage financial risk systematically and communicate our financial performance in a clear, concise manner.

Integrity

We are proud of our reputation, built over many years, which depends on us consistently doing the right thing. Integrity is our cornerstone and character is as important as ability. We build trust and act with honesty. We comply with our Business Ethics Policy, management system and all local rules and regulations. We foster a culture of transparency and responsibility. We investigate all violations and complaints and take appropriate action.

A great example of core values used at a high level.
There are many examples of core values this is from
Yourdictionary.com
Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organisation. The core values are the guiding principles that dictate behaviour and action. Core values can help people to know what is right from wrong; they can help companies to determine if they are on the right path and fulfilling their business goals; and they create an unwavering and unchanging guide. There are many different types of core values and many different examples of core values depending upon the context.

Core Values About Life

Often, when you hear someone discuss why they fell in love with a spouse, they will mention that they have the same values. In this case, they are often talking about core values, or internal beliefs that dictate how life is to be lived.
Some examples of core values people might have about life include:

 

  • A belief, or lack thereof, in God and/or an affiliation with a religious institution
  • A belief in being a good steward of resources and in exercising frugality
  • A belief that family is of fundamental importance
  • A belief that honesty is always the best policy and that trust has to be earned
  • A belief in maintaining a healthy work/life balance

 

Parents also try to instil these types of positive core values in children.
Of course, core values don’t always have to be positive. Some people may be driven by self-interest or greed, and these are core values too if they dictate the way the people live their lives.

Need Help, Book a Life Coaching appointment today!

Corporate Core Values

Companies can have core values as well. These are the guiding principles that help to define how the corporation would behave. They are usually expressed in the corporation’s mission statement.
Some examples of core values for a company might include:

 

  • A commitment to sustainability and to acting in an environmentally friendly way. Companies like Patagonia and Ben & Jerry’s have environmental sustainability as a core value.
  • A commitment to innovation and excellence. Apple Computer is perhaps best known for having a commitment to innovation as a core value. This is embodied by their “Think Different” motto.
  • A commitment to doing good for the whole. Google, for example, believes in making a great search engine and building a great company without being evil.

 

 

As you can see, many of the core values that companies have are similar to those that individuals might choose as guiding principles as well.
Companies may also have negative core values as well. Companies that are solely motivated by profit, such as tobacco companies who lied to their customers about the dangers of smoking, may have been driven by core values of self-interest and an overly strong profit motive.

Some Types of Core Values

There are countless types of core values, as you can see, so you will need to choose the ones that are right for you or your organisation.
Here are some examples of core values from which you may wish to choose:

 

  • Dependable
  • Reliable
  • Loyal
  • Committed
  • Open-minded
  • Consistent
  • Honest
  • Efficient
  • Innovative
  • Creative
  • Humorous
  • Fun-loving
  • Adventurous
  • Motivated
  • Positive
  • Optimistic
  • Inspiring
  • Passionate
  • Respectful
  • Athletic
  • Fit
  • Courageous
  • Educated
  • Respected
  • Loving
  • Nurturing

 


Identifying Core Values

While some people or companies might expressly publish their core values, often the best way to identify these values is to which how they act and behave. A core value is only a true core value if it has an active influence and if the people or company manage to live by it, at least most of the time.


Read more at http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-core-values.html#I8UaGrDTtHoiXQdL.99

You can see why I love living by core values and mission statements, like my own statement

I enlighten others to succeed though life’s challenges.


In life we live to certain standards and ethics which come from our learnings, learnt behaviours. when we apply  our own core values to our goals and needs for ourselves and others, we apply part of our own passion which comes from our heart.

So take that time out and look at your own core values and apply them to you goals and needs.

If you need help contact me Derek McGillivray www.ahappymedium.co.uk


useful links


http://articles.bplans.com/writing-a-mission-statement/


http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/mission-statement.html

 

Stop think. Why am I so stressed today?

Stop think. Why am I so stressed today?

Stop think. Why am I so stressed today?

Stop think, why am I so stressed today?

How often do you find yourself running out of time? Weekly, daily, hourly? For many, it seems that there’s just never enough time in the day to get everything done.
When you know how to manage your time you gain control. Rather than busily working here, there, and everywhere (and not getting much done anywhere), effective time management helps you to choose what to work on and when. This is essential if you’re to achieve anything of any real worth. Can you manage your time better? If so How?
Here’s some tips to help you:-

1) Realize that time management is a myth.
No matter how organized we are, there are always only 24 hours in a day. Time doesn’t change. All we can actually manage is ourselves and what we do with the time that we have.

2) Find out where you’re wasting time.
Many of us are prey to time-wasters that steal time we could be using much more productively. What are your time-bandits? Do you spend too much time ‘Net surfing, reading email, or making personal calls? Start tracking how to track your activities so you can form a accurate picture of what you actually do, the first step to effective time management.

3) Create time management goals.
Remember, the focus of time management is actually changing your behaviours, not changing time. A good place to start is by eliminating your personal time-wasters. For one week, for example, set a goal that you’re not going to take personal phone calls while you’re working.

4) Implement a time management plan.
Think of this as an extension of time management tip # 3. The objective is to change your behaviours over time to achieve whatever general goal you’ve set for yourself, such as increasing your productivity or decreasing your stress. So you need to not only set your specific goals, but track them over time to see whether or not you’re accomplishing them.

5) Use time management tools.
Whether it’s a Day-Timer or a software program, the first step to physically managing your time is to know where it’s going now and planning how you’re going to spend your time in the future. A software program such as Outlook, for instance, lets you schedule events easily and can be set to remind you of events in advance, making your time management easier.

6) Prioritize ruthlessly.
You should start each day with a time management session prioritizing the tasks for that day and setting your performance benchmark. If you have 20 tasks for a given day, how many of them do you truly need to accomplish.

7) Learn to delegate and/or outsource.
No matter how small your business is, there’s no need for you to be a one-person show. For effective time management, you need to let other people carry some of the load.

8) Establish routines and stick to them as much as possible.
While crises will arise, you’ll be much more productive if you can follow routines most of the time.

9) Get in the habit of setting time limits for tasks.
For instance, reading and answering email can consume your whole day if you let it. Instead, set a limit of one hour a day for this task and stick to it.

10) Be sure your systems are organized.
Are you wasting a lot of time looking for files on your computer? Take the time to organize a file management system. Is your filing system slowing you down? Redo it, so it’s organized to the point that you can quickly lay your hands on what you need.

11) Don’t waste time waiting.
From client meetings to dentist appointments, it’s impossible to avoid waiting for someone or something. But you don’t need to just sit there and twiddle your thumbs. Always take something to do with you, such as a report you need to read, a checkbook that needs to be balanced, or just a blank pad of paper that you can use to plan your next marketing campaign. Technology makes it easy to work wherever you are; you can use your smart phone, ipad etc will help you stay connected.
You can be in control and accomplish what you want to accomplish – once you’ve come to grips with the time management myth and taken control of your time.

Don’t let the stresses of Time kill you!

If you need help or advice, book a life coaching appointment, where I can help you prioritise what you feel is important.

http://www.ahappymedium.co.uk/life-coaching.html